Virtual Book Club: Girl, Wash Your Face *Chapter 5 is LIVE!*
Hey, there! If you’re just joining us…
You can read more about this Virtual Book Club + why I started it HERE!
Virtual Book Club: Girl, Wash Your Face
How It Works:
Every Tuesday + Thursday this Blog Post will be updated around 11am CST with one new chapter a day. I’ll be sharing 3 Things + 1 Question for each chapter.
The 3 Things:
1- What I Love Most: my biggest takeaway from the chapter
2- Fav Quote: because duh, quotes are awesome
3- Life Lesson: a personal story, shortcoming, or win I experienced from the lesson learned in the chapter
Now it’s your turn! I want to hear your biggest takeaways, fav quotes, and personal stories, too! Each question just helps to get the ball rolling... so feel free to share anything you loved, learned, or enjoyed from each chapter!
I’m hoping you’ll join me in the comments section below to discuss and share all of your thoughts and takeaways from each chapter, too!
Let’s Get Started!
Chapter 1 - The Lie: Something Else Will Make Me Happy
Haven’t read it yet? Listen to Ch 1 for FREE on the Rise Podcast HERE!
There’s so much goodness in this chapter + I think it’s the perfect way to start off the book (and our book club!).
What I Love Most:
The idea that we have to stop comparing ourselves to who we think were supposed to be. I feel like it’s so easy to get caught up in feeling like everyone else is so much farther ahead in life and we’re somehow “behind” where we expected ourselves to be at this point in our lives.... and I get it. It’s so easy to think that a little more money, a little more free time, losing 10 pounds, or a couple new pairs of shoes will make us happier. But we all know in the long run, none of those things actually make us happier.
So what’s a girl to do? Stop dreaming and working for the life she wants? Absolutely not. Look at it this way, we spend 95% of our time chasing a goal and then 5% of our time enjoying it (yes, I made this up but it’s been so true in my life and I’m guessing it has been in yours, too.) So if you wait to be happy until you actually reach a goal, you’ll spend 95% of your life unhappy! What if we learned to enjoy the process more, and be grateful for the things we already have? I think we would experience a monumental shift in our happiness.
“When you’re engaged and involved and choosing to enjoy your own life, it doesn’t matter where you are, or frankly, what negative things get hurled at you. You’ll still find happiness because it’s not about where you are but who you are.” Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face
I hate cleaning. I love organizing and tidying up, but the actual mopping, sweeping, and scrubbing is the worst. It’s definitely one of my life goals to someday hire a cleaning lady to come clean my house once a month (because honestly, that would be an improvement on my current situation). But as a new mama with a husband in grad school, it’s definitely low on our priorities list. But it’s a dream nonetheless.
I could wait until that point somewhere far off in the future when I hire a cleaning lady to be happy…. or I could use Rachel’s advice from this chapter + flip the script! Now anytime something needs to be cleaned I do two things: 1) I thank God for the beautiful home I live in + the amazing people I get to share it with (gratitude really does change everything) and 2) I throw on some music and dance around the house as I clean (because music + dancing make me happy!)
What’s one goal that you can flip the script on + find a way to be grateful for right now?
Leave a comment below… (scroll to bottom)
Chapter 2 - The Lie: I’ll Start Tomorrow
Haven’t read it yet? Listen to Ch 2 for FREE on the Rise Podcast HERE!
What I Love Most:
The concept of keeping the promises you make to yourself. It’s so easy to feel obligated to your commitments to other people, but at the end of the day if everything didn't get checked off of your own to-do list, you feel disappointed. My biggest takeaway in this chapter was twofold.
One part was making fewer promises, literally scratching things off my to-do list that didn't need to be there and then setting 2-3 main tasks/goals for each day. Not only did this create more breathing room in my daily schedule and life, but at the end of the day I actually felt accomplished and at peace. The second part was setting smaller more specific daily goals – clean the kitchen became organize the pantry, do laundry became wash and dry 3 loads. These smaller, more specific goals make my daily to-do list easier to accomplish and actually lead to getting more done!
“Slow down your yes. Only commit to the things you know you can accomplish because they’re incredibly important to you. Otherwise you set yourself up for continued failure.” Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face
If you follow along on Instagram, you may have seen me doing the water challenge Rachel talks about in this chapter. For the entire month of September, I drank half my body weight in ounces of water a day. I didn’t do this because I needed to reign in my diet or lose weight or anything else health related per se (except that I don’t think I was consistently drinking enough water). I did it as an easy, daily challenge to train my resistance muscles that always want to commit to too many things. Having the single minded focus on one main goal for 30 days reminded me of the way all great things are accomplished: one step at a time.
What’s one main goal you can commit to for the next 30 days to train your resistance muscles? The water challenge is a great place to start!
Leave a comment below… (scroll to bottom)
Chapter 3 - The Lie: I’m Not Good Enough
Haven’t read it yet? Listen to Ch 3 for FREE on the Rise Podcast HERE! PS the episode is called The Lie: I Am Not Enough.
What I Love Most:
I think we all believe this lie at some point in our lives, especially as a new mama. While there’s a lot of good in this chapter, but I also think there’s something missing. Rachel goes from talking about being a workaholic to switching gears and hustling for joy and consuming every possible source of information on the topic of rest, which still sounds an awful lot like over-working just with a different topic in mind: rest.
Discovering your worth and learning to prioritize your self-care is definitely a lifelong work in progress, as Rachel openly admits, but I think the key ingredient that’s missing in this chapter (although she touches on it briefly) is the distinction of where our worth actually does come from.
If our self worth doesn’t come from what we do (what most of us mistakenly believe at some point in our lives), then I think Rachel is proposing it comes from who we are. But I want to take this a step further and propose it doesn’t come from who we are necessarily, but from whose we are: a child a God. If you tie your self worth up into anything other than God’s infinite, everlasting, unchanging, transformative love, you’ll end up disappointed again and again.
“Learning to rest is an ongoing process. Like any other lifelong behavior, I constantly fight the desire to slip back into the role I’ve played for so long. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, and two years ago I did just that. I am a recovering workaholic, but through this process, I also learned that I am a child of God – and that trumps everything else.” Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face
I have always had an innate over-achiever mentality that could easily transform into a workaholic lifestyle if left unchecked. I was a straight A, valedictorian type student that wanted nothing more than to be the absolute best at everything I did. Honestly, it didn’t matter to me if I was the best; I just wanted to be my best. So when I got sick at 18 years old, I all of a sudden felt less than my best. Way less. If I couldn’t be a straight-A student because I was at home sick in bed and missed too many classes, then what was I? If I couldn’t workout and maintain my fit physique because I was at home sick in bed, then what was I?
I grappled with this question for years, and I’ve come out the other side (even thought I’m technically still chronically ill— because this revelation doesn’t come when you have it all figured out) with the hard-fought knowledge that it’s not what I do that makes me valuable, its who I am and whose I am. God loves me just as much when I’m lying in bed sick all day as he does when I run 2 miles before breakfast. Just so were clear, I haven’t run two miles in years... but I have found meaning and purpose in the countless hours of lying sick in bed doing ‘nothing’ because of God’s love for me.
Does rest come easy to you? Or do you find it incredibly difficult to sit still + do ‘nothing’? What’s one way you can prioritize rest in your life this week?
Leave a comment below…(scroll to bottom)
Chapter 4 - The Lie: I’m Better Than You
Haven’t read it yet? Listen to Ch 4 for FREE on the Rise Podcast HERE! PS the episode is called The Lie: I’m Better Than You.
What I Love Most:
I whole-heartedly believe that the truth is the truth no matter how many — if any — people believe it. But I also believe that there’s more than one way to live a beautiful, virtuous life. What I love most about this chapter is the differentiation between accountability and judgment. If we don’t know a person’s story and aren’t walking through life right alongside them, then it’s probably not very helpful to cast hurtful judgments upon them with our gossip or eye-rolling or even worse berating comments on social media. In today’s polarizing political realm, I find it incredibly sad that we’ve lost the art of respectfully disagreeing and openly discussing our viewpoints. If this topic resonates with you, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of Candace Cameron Bure’s Kind is the New Classy. She offers such a refreshingly honest + heart-centered perspective on how to disagree with kindness and grace while standing up for your deepest convictions.
“Holding each other accountable comes from a place of love. Judgment comes from a place of fear, disdain, or even hate. So be careful about dressing your judgments up as accountability to make your conscience feel better.” Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face
As a new mama, it’s so incredibly easy to get caught up in the judgment and comparison trap. From breastfeeding in public to the whole vaccine debate, there’s so many polarizing topics revolving around motherhood. I’ve started to realize through all of the side-eye glances, hushed whispers, passive-aggressive comments, and even the genuine questions about my parenting decisions that sooner or later we all feel judged. And as a result, we all tend to judge others right back. Because it stinks to feel judged and our defense mechanism is to criticize anyone else who lives differently, because we falsely believe it will somehow makes us feel safer in our own decisions. It’s a brutal game we play, but we don’t have to play it anymore. The biggest lesson I learned from this chapter and from being a new mama is this: if I’m confident in my own decisions — without the need for other people’s approval — then I will have the ability to extend grace + be supportive of others even if I don’t agree with their decisions. I believe the truth is the truth no matter how many — if any — people believe it, but I also believe there’s more than one way to live a beautiful, virtuous life.
What’s one act of kindness you can show – or have shown – to someone who disagrees with you (whether it be a family member or on social media)?
Leave a comment below…
Chapter 5 - The Lie: Loving Him Is Enough For Me
What I Love Most:
What I love most about this chapter is Rachel’s brutal honesty. You can’t wrap your identity up into loving your boyfriend, fiancé, or even your husband. I believe that being a wife is my first vocation and truest calling in life – to love and challenge my husband to become the person God created him to be (and he to do the same for me). But that doesn’t mean that I set aside all of my own dreams and ambitions or that I allow him to make all the rules.
A relationship is a team effort. And if one person is making all the rules or calling all the shots, even if the other person is allowing this to happen, the relationship will eventually fall apart. You can’t serve two masters, so keep God at the center of your relationship and work together to serve His ultimate purpose for your life. I think Rachel’s biggest takeaway was that she finally learned to respect herself as an equal member of their relationship team, so they could begin building a real relationship rooted in self-love and mutual respect.
“Imagine someone else describing your relationship to you. Would they say your relationship is healthy?” Rachel Hollis, Girl, Wash Your Face
Sometimes loving another person means having hard conversations, and sometimes those conversations are with yourself. I’ve had to do this many times over the years, and the consensus is always the same: I had to change the way I was acting, thinking, or approaching a situation before I could ever encourage or expect someone else to do the same.
What was your biggest takeaway from this chapter about being in a relationship?